He looks so good in his jeans and they are never too tight. It is sexy when HE doesn’t shave.
And right now, he can sleep on a dime while I am awake thinking of everything that needs done before the baby wakes up.
While this may sound like I am whining, I am not. My husband Sam is the yin to my yang. I go from 0-90 in less than a second; he is slow starter, but his patience and humor underline the wisdom and calm he brings to my life.
It has been said that nothing changes your marriage like having a kid; I really didn’t believe it would for us. We had had a few rough years (by first world standards) and by 30 had lived through many hospitlazations, chronic illness, endless job searches, moves, living with parents, no money, borrowing money from family to pay rent, buy medicines, groceries, etc. To top it all off the baby was coming after shingles and year of morning sickness so bad I lost 54 lbs by the time I delivered, passed more than 10 kidney stones without medication, fought Lyme disease,and and faced more hospitalizations and daily herxing reactions than I care to remember.
Surely, after all of that, maintaining our marriage throughout parenting would be a breeze.
I can tell you right now, 11 weeks in, it isn’t. I have stooped lower and been more intentionally selfish in the last 11 weeks than I have been in my entire six years of marriage!
For example, the other night I pinched my peacefully sleeping husband because I was awake and nursing. I, a grown-a** college educated woman, pinched my sleeping husband because I wanted to go to sleep so badly. His waking up had nothing to do with my ability to sleep. I still had a baby to nurse. All those sleepless nights, days spent fighting an insane disease had not prepared me for taking care of a child 24/7, 365 days a year forever.
Don’t get me wrong, I love some middle of the night time I get with our first child. What I am trying to shine a light on is the fact that I THOUGHT life had prepared me to be stressed, sleepless, not feel good, etc. and in all that I EXPECTED to have the same relationship with my partner, my best friend, my confident but that *%^*%>% seems to sleep whenever he wants, shower for however long he wants, and just look so dang carefree and good in his jeans…
Life is not fair.